Never Enough...

I spent an hour on the phone with Kevin Cobb today.  I actually scheduled the meeting about a week and a half ago with his office assistant.  I've learned over the last few years to get in good with whoever was in charge of his schedule.  I guess I could call him directly, and sometimes I do.  But, I have decided that I need to be respectful of his time.  In fact, today when we talked he already had a good idea of the things that I was going to bring up.  Between our conversations I usually send him a bunch of lengthy emails.  All of the stuff that's going on in my life.  All of the questions that I have.  All of the frustrations that I have.  All of the leadership questions that I have for him. 

Before I knew it, the conversation had already come to about 54 minutes.  How do I know that?  I called him exactly at 11 AM, when we had our meeting scheduled.  And at 11:54 he told me that he had another meeting that he had to get ready for.  I couldn't believe where the time went.

We pretty much only got to about 1 1/2 of the items that I wanted to talk to him about.  I usually set the stage with my questions for him, and then I just let him tell me the stuff that I need to change or get better at.  It makes me wonder how people can live life without a mentor.  I put so much time and effort into pursuing Kevin as my mentor that it is often frustrating because I know that no matter how much guidance he gives me, I am always left with wanting and needing more of his time. 

So I guess that's my question.  Who are the people in your life that you continue to pursue?  Kevin is probably one of the most humble people that I know.  The more I ask him his opinion and guidance, the more I understand that I need to be a leader like him.  Who do you need to be like?  And... what are you doing to make that happen?

Approbation (Galatians 1:10)

Good morning all,

The word of the day is "approbation." It's always good to look back at the Scriptures to make sure that we are in line with the way that Jesus would want us to live. The Galatian church dealt with most of the problems that each of our churches deal with today, and it is funny to see that problems always seem to bring themselves to those who serve God. Paul knew that the people of this church needed to understand why he was doing the things that he did.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

~Gal 1:10

My question is: from where do you seek approval, or approbation? As Christians I think that we know the standard answer is that we should be seeking approval from God. However, it seems that much of the time we make decisions based on what we think is best for our lives. Sometimes we even listen the people who have counsel for us, much of the time we think they have our best interests at heart. And, sometimes they do. But we must remember that we answer to a higher calling. My prayer is that you take time today to ask God to give you a heart that seeks his approval, and his only.

Praying for you,

mo

Fortuitous Leadership

I remember years ago when I decided to go into leadership. I just graduated from high school and decided attend APU for the next season of my life. I was pretty excited, but my parents thought that I sold myself short because of all of the other opportunities that I had. I did not know exactly why I was doing what I was doing, but I knew that ministry was going to be a big part of my life from this point forward. And, even though APU was the only school without a pool facility (which is bad if you want to be on the college swim team), somehow I needed to be there. I knew that leadership was an important piece of the puzzle, and I ended up working with the church that I just left as a highschooler. At that point, Kevin Cobb was a huge influence in my life and I knew that he needed to continue to be so. I knew little about formal mentorship, but for some reason I understood it.

Kevin did not expect me to do very much in terms of actually starting leadership. Lucky for me I had him to watch day in and day out. However, I did feel that I needed to do more. So, I took it upon myself to find John Maxwell. Now, understand that at this point I did not really know John Maxwell was, nor did anybody else. It's easy to look back today and say that I was following the biggest leadership guru of all time, but at that point he was not that guru. He was just a guy that put out some leadership books and the leadership trend had not caught on yet. It was probably a little bit unintended the way that I fell into leadership and training. I started reading his 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership and instantly fell in love with it. Over the next several years I realized that the decision to make leadership an important part of my growth, concerning reading and listening to audio recordings.  I still do my best to live by those prinicples today.

Resolution: whatever it takes

I just got done talking with one of the absolute winners on my team. As a coach, it's always good to see athletes who want to put the time in to get things done. I was thinking about resolutions for the New Year during my conversation with this swimmer. The thing is, she has a ton of stuff that is against her. The pain that she goes through when she swims is excruciating, yet she still wants to win. We have had multiple conversations over the past year about what it will take to accomplish the goals that she is set forth. You've got to see these goals: they are gargantuan. But that's what I love about this swimmer. She knows what it takes to win, and is not afraid to say that she is going to do the work. In fact, I find myself holding her back sometimes because I want to make sure that she approaches her season correctly. What I mean by that is there is a lot that goes in to winning, both on the coaching side as well as the athlete.

What I love about swimming is that the science of it is pretty much right up front. You know what you are up against at the beginning. For instance, when I was in high school and swimming I knew that if I wanted to win had to work much harder than most everybody else. I had to do this because I was a ton shorter than most of the guys that I swam against. But I wanted to win so bad that I did what it took. This is the kind of swimmer that I'm dealing with now. A lot of athletes say they want to win, but when it comes down to it they don't want to put in the work. And then we have some kind of conversation at the end of the season when they don't accomplish their goals, and kind of look at each other and shrug. The kind of athlete that I want is one that pushes himself or herself harder than I can push… and I push hard. I've been known to make athletes cry because of my tactics and techniques. Don't get me wrong, I am a very loving guy and care about my athletes a bunch, but it's that tough love that will make a difference in the end of the season.

I guess the question is: are you willing to do what it takes to win? Those of the decisions that you make a long time before even your season starts. Are you willing to work to the pain? Are you willing to work through the tiredness? Are you willing to work for the disappointment? Those are just a few of the questions that you need ask yourself up front. If you can answer in the affirmative to all of those, then I think you are on the right track. Winning hurts… But there's nothing like it.

After the end…

I had to laugh the other day when I was talking to my cousin. I officiated the wedding some years back for her and her fiancé.  They recently came and visited the house with the rest of their family, who were from out of state.  I figured that my cousin and her now husband were also living out of state, as they were when I performed the wedding.  I totally forgot that I had been told at least a couple of years ago that they have been living out here for a while.  It was funny to me that everybody in my family knew this except for me.  This reminded me about relating with people during your time of ministry, wherever that may be.

A former student of mine contacted me a few years after he had been in our ministry.  During his time at the church, he and I spent a ton of time together because he was very involved with the leadership piece of our ministry.  Now that he was gone off to college we did not talk very much.  In fact, I must admit that within a couple months of him leaving we did not communicate very much.  I take complete responsibility for this, as I am the leader in this equation.  However, here is the point.  During that situation I talked to Kevin Cobb and relayed my feelings on the situation.  I felt uneasy because this kid and I had been pretty close for so long.  Kevin reminded me of an important ministry lesson.

As our ministry began to grow it was very hard to keep track of people, even within our own ministry in the present.  Kevin told me that during specific seasons of ministry we would put time into people in different ways.  As one’s leadership ability grows, so does his or her need to make decisions about the people in which they will invest.  During that specific season of ministry I was probably putting in time to about twenty-five leaders, which included parents and college students.  My time was limited and Kevin reminded me of this.  Although I did not want to give up that relationship with the kid who had moved on from our ministry, the reality is that it had to be done, or at least change.

Since that time the good thing is that that student and I have become close again.  It is not the same because we do not do ministry, but I have been able to rekindle that friendship.  You need to decide what relationships are pertinent to your specific season in leadership at any given time.  Are you putting the correct amount of time and to the right people?  If you’re not sure, I would ask somebody that you trust.