After the end…

I had to laugh the other day when I was talking to my cousin. I officiated the wedding some years back for her and her fiancé.  They recently came and visited the house with the rest of their family, who were from out of state.  I figured that my cousin and her now husband were also living out of state, as they were when I performed the wedding.  I totally forgot that I had been told at least a couple of years ago that they have been living out here for a while.  It was funny to me that everybody in my family knew this except for me.  This reminded me about relating with people during your time of ministry, wherever that may be.

A former student of mine contacted me a few years after he had been in our ministry.  During his time at the church, he and I spent a ton of time together because he was very involved with the leadership piece of our ministry.  Now that he was gone off to college we did not talk very much.  In fact, I must admit that within a couple months of him leaving we did not communicate very much.  I take complete responsibility for this, as I am the leader in this equation.  However, here is the point.  During that situation I talked to Kevin Cobb and relayed my feelings on the situation.  I felt uneasy because this kid and I had been pretty close for so long.  Kevin reminded me of an important ministry lesson.

As our ministry began to grow it was very hard to keep track of people, even within our own ministry in the present.  Kevin told me that during specific seasons of ministry we would put time into people in different ways.  As one’s leadership ability grows, so does his or her need to make decisions about the people in which they will invest.  During that specific season of ministry I was probably putting in time to about twenty-five leaders, which included parents and college students.  My time was limited and Kevin reminded me of this.  Although I did not want to give up that relationship with the kid who had moved on from our ministry, the reality is that it had to be done, or at least change.

Since that time the good thing is that that student and I have become close again.  It is not the same because we do not do ministry, but I have been able to rekindle that friendship.  You need to decide what relationships are pertinent to your specific season in leadership at any given time.  Are you putting the correct amount of time and to the right people?  If you’re not sure, I would ask somebody that you trust.