To preach or not to preach...

I was in a group setting the other day with a bunch of pastors and everyone was putting in their two cents. I guess you could imagine how hard it was to get a word in – for anyone! It was funny to watch everyone try to one-up each other with statements, scripture and some straight up nonsense. As a pastor you will soon learn to walk the line of preaching and pastoring. They do not always go together. But if you do not master each of them then you are going to open yourself up to public mockery and you will see your influence decline quickly. What exactly am I talking about?

You may know what it looks like for a pastor or two or forty start to get all revved up on a subject. They begin speaking in that certain voice. You may know the one to which I am referring. The one that sounds like if you dare to speak against what they are saying then you are no less than an idiot. These pastors would prolly deny this, but they all know that tone. We all have it. We are recognized by it. We have the angry voice, the parent voice, the teacher voice, the business voice – you get the point. Some are not so bad or not bad at all; some are.

And this particular instance reminded me of the many times when I opened my big fat mouth and inserted my foot. Not necessarily that what I was saying was wrong, it was just the way that I said it. But in all of my infinite wisdom I would continually cut peeps off mid-sentence because I knew what they were going to say and I would get impatient. I really think that God had to fight against me, wanting to use me but moving through and around my stubbornness; I created tons of work for God that was not needed. I never understood how dumb I was acting until I saw others do the same thing. I would be like, “Man, that guy sounds ridiculous.” and then I would hear the same stuff coming out of his mouth that I would say to peeps in the same situation. I was aware of my surroundings because I listened. And then it dawned on me... I listened. The first step! My point is that there is a time to preach to peeps and a time not to. The time to preach is when you are given some kind of platform – and the key word is “given.” you know, like when your students come to a weekend or midweek program event. They know what they are there for. They know that listening to message is part of the event. The time not to preach... any other time than that.

That's it! The rest of the time I would advise you to work on being pastoral. That is what you need to do. There is no reason to tell everyone how much you know or use your seminary language. They know you went – you have the degree and the debt to prove it. I mean, that is what JC did. He preached when he needed to and the rest of the time he loved on peeps. The next time you are going to get on your soap box... stop and count to ten. Think of what you are going to say and consider the consequences, good or bad. There is a time for exhortation, yes. However, I think we abuse that more often than not. Just a thought, not a sermon.

Never say never...

When I decided to change my major to Xtian Ministry and make it a vocation I had my mind set. I would go into youth ministry for a while and then move on to be a senior pastor. You know, I would kinda use the youth thing as a stepping stone. But God would have a little bitt different path for me. I did not know what I was in store for in my career as a pastor.

One of the conversations that Cobb and I would have every once in a while would be the “where do you see yourself in the long haul” conversation. I thought nothing of it. I knew what I wanted and the plan that I had for the next ten or more years. But Cobb knew something that I did not, apparently. He would casually ask me the “why” question. He wanted to know why I was thinking whatever I was thinking at the time. He never presumed to know what I was thinking nor did he try to make me think a certain way. He would just challenge me often on what was going on in that little brain of mine.

I never knew why I thought that about why I wanted to be a Senior Pastor, I just figured that is the way that it was supposed to go. I knew that I loved spending time with teenagers and peeps who wanted to make teens better and more involved with church and God. But I thought that is what everyone was thinking. One day Cobb asked me why I wanted to be the leader of a parish and I thought about it for a minute. I could not think of anything else except for that I figured that was the way it was supposed to be. Then he gave me one of the classic Cobb challenges.

He asked me what my life might look like if I choose to stay in youth ministry for the long haul. Wow! I had never even thought of it. In fact, I knew I would never do that... I mean, that is not how it is supposed to be. But why not??? we began to talk more about it over a number of conversations. It took me about three more years to come to the realization that I thought that is the way God was leading me – to youth ministry for the long haul. This of course lead to more questions. Was I turning off God in my earlier conversations with him; to which the answer was “no.” it just took God a little while longer to get through to a stubborn punk like me.

I still talk to Cobb about career stuff today. At one point I even asked how long he had known that I was fighting my heart concerning my ministry for the long haul. He just smiled. Never say never. Your ministry could be going a direction that you don't even know about right now. Trust your instinct, yes. But also trust the words and encouragement of those you trust to speak into your life. Will I be a senior pastor someday? I don't know... maybe. But right now my heart is focused on bringing students to know JC better, and building into those who have the same passion. What is the direction of your passion.

Knowing the value of connections...

When I graduated and came onto staff I was on the younger end of life and ministry. Cobb knew that I needed a lot of work. I, on the other hand, thought that I had all the wisdom and knowledge I needed to be a successful youth pastor. I would prove him right and me wrong time and again very early and often. I saw this most prevalent in the way that I viewed the way I spent my time in ministry.

I was focused on spending time the the students. I thought that the more time I spent with them the better the ministry would be and the more it would grow. There was some truth in that. However, I was no longer a volunteer staff member on the team. I was now one of the youth pastors on staff and needed to change the way I viewed ministry, concerning my job. I was not just in charge of my group of guys in junior high, I now needed to view the ministry as a whole and what was best for the entire group. In the beginning I did not necessarily embrace this. I wanted to be in the middle of the action. You know, for games, groups, stuff like that. But I made the decision to put myself on that outside of that as soon as I came on paid staff.

My worth would now be in the connections I would create and maintain, not just with the kids, but more importantly with the volunteer staff and interns. The more I could influence the leaders, the ones spending the one-on-one and quality group time with the students, the more impact I would have. Cobb always told me that the earlier I realized that my influence was most effective in the staff the sooner I would see growth in my ministry. So, I focused my energy this way.

I read tons of books on leadership and studied what it mean to build leaders. What was good for me was that on of my strengths was intuition. I could pretty much see who had leadership potential. And I put most of my time into these peeps. This did, however, mean that I had to give up a lot of my influence with the students and give that aways to the individual group leaders. I was torn. For me to move to the next level of leadership I would have to give away the very thing that I did ministry for in the first place... that was influence and time with the kids.

But I guess that is what they mean when the experts talk about sacrificing to get to the next level, whatever the field may be. It paid off. Years later now I see the influence that leaders have with their students. And now I praise God as I stand back and watch others continue to excel in their leadership abilities. The more I give up the more God seems to give.

Searching for spiritual direction...

When I graduated from high school and came onto staff with Cobb I was faced with a dilemma. He and I had talked about what it would mean for us to work on staff together. After all, he lead me to a relationship with JC and had been my mentor all throughout high school. Now that he was going to be my supervisor was a much different place for our relationship to be. Sure, he was pretty much in charge of the way that I did ministry 'cause I was in his ministry, but I was still a volunteer and could come or go as I pleased, just like your peeps can do. Now that I was going to be paid we knew that we were going to have to adjust our friendship somewhat.

We both thought it would be best for me to find someone else to be a mentor in my life for the season of ministry that we would work together. This could be anywhere from one year to who knew how long. So I began to pray for a mentor in my life, one who could speak with authority and someone I could trust with my spiritual life and direction. I thought it would be a fast and quick move, that God would place someone in my life right away. You know, why wouldn't God want me to have someone to make sure I was on the right track?

I prayed long and often for a man of God to be a new mentor figure in my life. One year passed, then two and again another. I was beginning to wonder what I was doing wrong. Maybe I was praying wrong. But I knew that I wasn't. What helped me through this time was a group of three other guys at APU who were in an accountability group with me. We would talk once a week about all the stuff that we were dealing with as new college kids. And for me one of the continuing themes was searching for a mentor. They knew my frustration. I was doing ministry like twenty-four hours a day a million days a week and I really needed some wisdom. My frustration lead to sadness and almost to apathy. I lifted my voice and concern to God often for him to answer. And he did.

Through one of my spiritual advisors I was connected with this guy from a church close by. They had known each other for like ten years. This guy was a spiritual warrior, definitely a man of the Lord. His name was Louie. He sat on the board of elders, taught a class with his wife at church and loved God with all his heart. We had coffee and talked about what it would mean for us to do the spiritual mentoring thing. He was all for it. And so was I. For the next few years he and I met about two or three times a week at the same little breakfast place. Man, I learned so much from him. God was faithful and I thank him for placing Louie in my life; it took me waiting over four years for that fit in my spiritual life.

I wonder who God has for you. If you do not have a spiritual mentor or mentors who speak into your life, I would recommend checking it out. Pray, and see what God may have for you. I know that the wisdom of others has and continues to play a huge role in the big and small decisions in my life. I pray that every youth pastor has that kind of support. It will change your ministry.

Choosing and empowering leaders...

Ministry happens with or without you. When you and I are gone God will use others to accomplish what he has in mind. I learned early on that I needed to get others on my team or I would burn out really quick. And I worked under a guy that did not believe in ministry burnout. And for good reason. We had a growing ministry and always had stuff to do. There were many times when I did not know how we would get it all done. But it always seemed to happen.

One of the parts of ministry that you need to learn and exercise really well is getting and keeping good leaders. Whether you have a larger or small ministry, whatever the definitions you hold for each of those, you will need them. And then when you get them you have to empower them. We made mistakes early on with letting anyone with a pulse into our ministry team. They were good peeps with great hearts for ministry. But they were not always cut out for youth ministry.

I remember one guy in particular. He came and made a commitment to hang out in our ministry for a season and did not fulfill it. He was just flakey and had tons of other stuff on his plate that took precedence over ministry. That was not bad, it was just the reality. But after he fizzled out of the ministry the first time I did not learn my lesson. The guys in his group would always ask where he was and I found myself making excuses for him. After all, the boys in his group loved him to death; he was a great and likable guy. He was just a flake. So when he came to my office promising the world yet a second time, I gave in. it did not work. Nor did it work the third time either.

After that painful time in my ignorance I learned that I needed to be more selective. Even if I was hurting bad for a leader, I still had to keep in mind that if I got a bad one just to fill a position, I would ultimately regret it in the end. This new philosophy served me well. Sometimes peeps wondered why I was so picky and turned down so many who wanted to work with our kids. But I knew what I wanted for them and what our ministry needed. I had the pulse and stuck with my instinct. It worked well and still does.

What are your standards. Do you take anyone that wants to be a part of your team; only learning that many times you know you are not making the best decision but you do it anyway? Stop it! Take the best and roll with it. It may slow down growth of your ministry, but it will be better in the end. Get good leaders and empower them. The rest... peace 'em out.

Wasting time...

I talk a lot about running your ministry on all cylinders at all times. I get a lot of questions and concerns that I expect too much from others and myself, ministry and people in general. And they are right... I do expect a lot. But ministry is not about just working for no reason, spending your wheels, doing activities just for the sake of doing something. Everything is intentional. I remember one of my boys asked me one time what it meant to be a youth pastor. This kid was a sophomore at the time and one who I was mentoring. We would meet about once a week and talk over coffee and chill, go over church stuff, family issues, theological questions and whatever else. The funny part about it was that I had and asked the exact same question to Cobb when I was in high school. I answered the question in terms of time.

I told this kid that ministry was about relationships. Spending time with peeps was going to bring about the most fruit in your ministry. I wanted to add value to others every day of my life. This was a tall order. John C. Maxwell talks about this in all of his books. Leadership is all about adding value to at least one or more peeps each day. Henri Nouwen writes that ministry is “having meals at different houses, 'wasting time' with my own people, talking, playing, and praying with them, and allowing them to really know me.” To do this takes tons of discipline in your life. There is a difference between spending time with peeps and investing into their lives.

Cobb was and still is the master at this. When I was in high school I remember when he and his wife would invite a bunch of us at a time to have dinner at their house. Mind you, this is when our ministry was a lot smaller and we pretty much knew one another on one level or another. But we went though a season where Cobb would invite about ten students and leaders to his house. We didn't do any program or anything specific. I do know that the time was intentional though. It was one of the best seasons of ministry in our time together at HCC. A lot of good relationships and commitments to ministry came about from those moments of intentionality.

When I graduated and came on staff I knew the expectations that Cobb had. He did not ever worry about the work that I could do. He knew that I was a work horse and that I was down to put in the long hours. But what he was more concerned with was that I was “wasting time” the right way. Anyone can spend time with another person, but few could be disciplined enough to invest on a continuous basis. This is how I do ministry today. I am always aware of the relationships in which I invest. When I speak to youth pastors I encourage them to do ministry this way.

The peeps on your staff are too busy with life to have you devalue their time. They will put in long hours investing into students if you teach them to do so. But to keep them healthy, yourself and your ministry from hitting burnout, you need to be very careful. Ministry moves fast. It always has ans always will. It is the nature of the game. But moving fast does not mean spinning your wheels. Learn to waste time in the right way. Use it to invest into peeps. Your staff will see the way you treat them and value their time. When they feel loved and cared for they will put more time in, which will produce tons of fruit in the ministry you share together.

The Main Event: Follow-through

This is where you find out who your key players are. Your good leaders will follow up and follow through with the kids that came to your event; the kids that visited for the first or second time or the like. So what does this look like? You need to know the protocol for your ministry and it has to be ingrained into the heads of everyone on your volunteer and paid staff. If you have interns then they need to know what you expect of them. For the parents, they have assignments unique to them. The college kids, same things. If you have high schoolers helping out in your junior high ministry then they will also have something to do to make stuff work. It's gotta be in line and you have to know what you are going to do way before the event even starts.

Here are a couple of examples of stuff that our ministry has found to be helpful in our quest to get kids to want to come to church. Your leaders should be calling each of the students who are considered new to your ministry. And this needs to be done before the next activity that your church is putting on. If you have something on a Wednesday nite that is huge and off campus maybe, then your leaders have only a couple of days before the service on Saturday or Sunday or both. It depends on when your leaders come to help out. Do they lead groups on both weekend nites... just one of the two? Remember, the new kids want to come to church and see familiar faces. This includes the other students already in your ministry, preferably their friends, other leaders of all ages, etc.

you have some kind of list that all the kids signed up on when they came to the event and this is the basis of your master plan. Once you know which new kids were in particular groups, you need to distribute that list to each of the leaders so they do not forget about the new kids. Whether your leaders have two or twenty students in their groups, they will forget. Trust me, in their busy lives they do not always think about your ministry. I know, I know... crazy! But that is why you are the leader, that is why you are the youth pastor. It is your job to make their jobs easier. The more you do for your leaders the more responsibility and ownership they will get in the end because they will not be able to let anyone slip through the cracks. In fact, you will be the one to forget and one day a leader will come and ask you if you still have a certain student in the database and you will be like “oh yeah... I forgot about that kid.” but the group leaders will not.

If you want to make it even easier for the leaders, you can make some pre-stamped and addressed postcards with the information of the new kids ready for them by the end of the big event. Before the leaders go home, they fill out that postcard and give it back to you. Then you are the one to send it out for the leader and by the time that the leader forgets about it, you will have called each of your leaders to remind them to call the new kids from the event before the next activity. And when they call the new kid, he or she will have already have gotten the postcard and the leader is a hero! I know, too easy. But this will do wonders for your ministry. The better you make your leaders look and set them up for success the more they will want to put in for the ministry. It will not be a burden for them because they will know you are on their side. These are the simple decisions that will make or break your ministry. Do it right more than you do it wrong and you will see the fruit.