Never do this to your leaders...

So I was sitting in on a staff meeting for a local non-profit organization, just doing some observing and whatnot. One of the key leaders on the team asked a question to the big boss in charge. Now, let me first say that the question that this key leader asked was not the best, nor was it the right time to bring it up. However, I say that to set up the re-sponse given by the big boss. Instead of deflecting the question or telling the key leader to get with her after the meeting, or any of a million other ways to respond, she just lit into this guy. I mean she showed no mercy, telling him that it was none of his business to ask the question that he did, that he was out of line, that he had no right to even be think-ing about that particular question. And the thing is… she was right on with her assess-ment.

What she got wrong was the way she handled the situation. And not even really because of the impact it would have on that key leader. Who it really affected were all the other young and up-and-coming leaders in the room. They all saw the way that the big boss treated a senior leader on staff, someone who had been with the company for years. And I mean she just ripped into this guy! So, what am I saying? As a leader, you are going to hear a lot of asinine stuff from your staff. And it is the most frustrating to hear it from someone who knows better than to bring stuff up, as this key leader did in this instance. However, that does not give you the right as the big boss to act like that… ever.

My question is: How do you handle situations like this? If you want to be an effective leader then you should really check your response mechanism to see if you are handling your bidness. Ask around… sincerely. You may be surprised with the feedback – good or bad.

I never got too far...

I was talking with one of the peeps the other day and he said that he was leaving his current church because he was no longer “being fed.” Ok, seriously, what does that mean? I have known this guy for some time now, back to about the time that he made the decision to follow JC. I remember him way back then and how fired up he was on youth group and church and would brag that the reason that he came was that the message was so easy to understand and he felt that he could get it without too much religious talk. Now, I guess that is not good enough.

I asked him what he mean by not being fed to which he responded that he was just deep enough into his faith that he needed more, and that his current church was not offering that. He said that both the pastor and youth pastor were talking too much on topical stuff and not using enough of the Bible. Funny.

I have seen a lot of kids and parents and others who have been changed by our ministry and other ministries of the homies and got all in to the God thing. Then some time down the line it seems that something grabs a hold of them and the way that they think and all of the sudden their current church is not good enough when it comes to the message anymore. What?!

I always ask the same question, which has something to do with them coming to know JC personally in the same church and or ministry and how that exact message spoke to them. Most of the time they do not really get what I am saying and it is really just like banging my head against the wall. Here is my point. If you know what you are all about in your ministry and you have peeps telling you that you are watering the Gospel down just because it does not speak to them, don’t worry too much about it. As you grow, especially, you will deal with that more.

I remember a lot of the peeps, sometimes leaders in my youth ministry would mention to me after the message or in the time after the outreach nites, would ask me why I never really would get into crazy Bible stuff and calls to discipleship so on and so forth. I never really got it, and still do not to tell you the truth. But after a while, and even more so now, I take that as a compliment. I never get too far off the fact that God wants to meet you and me and the peeps to which we minister where we are. And if that is how you came to Christ then it should be good enough for you later on. And I’ll tell you why.

As soon as you become a follower of JC you are no longer given an excuse and are on the team. Now that you are a believer it is your job to help others come to know him as well as grow in your own relationship. Now, if you get to the point where you are in a church that is not good at the latter, then you have the responsibility, within the governance of the leadership, to do something about it. The wrong thing to do is to leave and give the copout that you need to go somewhere else where you are fed more. Give me a break.

So, next time you are thinking about leaving the ministry that brought you into a relationship with JC, think again. Maybe God wants you to do something about it and continue to use the tools and peeps in that ministry to bring more into the kingdom. Remember, if it was good enough to help you follow, it’s prolly still good enough.

Next season...

One of my boys tweeted me earlier this evening about some potential stuff that he will be doing for the next several months to years. He said that he was looking forward to the “next season” of his life. I love this way of looking at life. This guy and I share a common mentor… you guessed it – Kevin Cobb. When I was first working at the church with Cobb, he would talk to me about what it would take to be successful over the many years of ministry that God had in store for me. I never really knew what he was talking about. I was young and invincible. All I really wanted to do was get stuff done at that moment in time. I was not looking into the future. Over the next several years, Cobb gently helped me understand that many season of life that I would face.

Now that I am older and wiser (if not only a little more) I understand what he means. I want to be better now than I was yesterday or yester-year even. If I do not continue to grow then I am spitting in the face of every man and woman that has put time into my growth. With the gazillion hours that Cobb alone put into me, I would be ashamed if I did not run this life so hard that I go sliding into the grave. So I guess I want to know what you are doing to prove that you deserve the life you have been given. I know you are worth it and there are peeps that believe in you. There are men and women that have put time into your development. If you ever give up then you do them a disservice. What season of life are you in at the moment? What are your struggles? Who knows them? What are you looking forward to doing?

Call someone you know believed in your when no one else would. Ask them what they think you should be doing? They will tell you. I just talked to Cobb earlier this week. And from the millions of conversations we have had over the years, you might think that I would not need to hear it from him again. Hmmm… it’s completely the opposite – I yearn for his counsel more now than I ever had. He has weathered the season which I will forge. Who has done the same for you?

Who needs planning...

You gotta make sure that in your position known to those on your team. When you run a program or some other kind of event, peeps need to know what is happening. One of the most important parts of that process is letting them know when it is going to start and end. If your team is uncertain of when stuff is going to get over, then they are more apt to get lethargic early and give up. And when it comes to relationships and effectiveness on all fronts, which will totally mess stuff up for you. John Wooden used to take two hours to plan a practice that would last for less a period of time than the planning session. It was important for him to let his team know his expectations so they could give him their best effort up to the end. If the players did not know when the practice was going to end, as many coaches did not, then he knew his boys would not give it their all and always hold something back.

For youth pastors this is touchy. Take camps for instance. If you take your group up to a summer camp that starts on Sunday and will end on Saturday, watch how peeps respond on Friday nite and Saturday morning. It’s like camp is already over for some of them – both kids and leaders. But if you can keep your leaders in the game and help them understand the importance of running to the last second, the event will be good up to the end. How do you do this? Wow, over many years of doing the wrong stuff and learning under Cobb, we found out how to get the most out of every second of every event. It is exhausting beyond belief, but worth it for those under your leadership.

Do you plan well… or at all? I would strongly suggest that in whatever field you work, when you are given the opportunity to lead that you do your best to plan ahead. By doing this you tell your team that you respect their time and they will work harder because they know you are working harder as well. When peeps feel like stuff is thrown together, they do not feel appreciated. And we have to continually remind our teams that they are the reason we lead… for them.

Write that down...

I ran into one of my former church ministry students the other day and she proceeded to tell me about one of the stories that I told to the junior high group some seven or so years ago. And to tell you the truth, until that moment I had totally forgotten about that particular story. But as soon as she recounted it I remembered it and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Not the story itself, but that she could remember it and that she was able to apply my experience to her life then and it stuck with her until now.

Then she asked me, as many a student does, if I made up my stories. And the great part about it is that I don’t! All my stories are my own. As much stuff as I steal from other youth peeps I know that the stories that I tell about my life and apply them to my messages, my stories are true and are my own. In fact, I count it as a blessing and a compliment that peeps do not believe the stuff that has happened to me.

And the sweeter part about my stories is that now a lot of them that I tell today now involve my time with the peeps in my ministry, both kids and leaders. And I know that as I continue to do ministry I will continue to have more stories, as I am always looking for the teaching moment in my life to apply to myself and pass on to others. So, when you are out and about, chillin and doing ministry and life, never forget stuff. Write it down – I do… all the time. I go home and remind myself on paper of the moments in my days that speak to me. You will be surprised how much you can bless and help others with the stuff in your life. So, tomorrow or today even, look at your day as a series of lessons that God may just have you give to others.

Just shut up for a second...

I ran into one of my friends from a long time ago. We were both excited to see one another and of course had a million things that each of us wanted to share. I was sooo tempted to talk forever and let him know all the good stuff that was going on in my life. But then I remembered what John Maxwell said about listening to others. Leaders learn to listen intently and actively. And so I did what did not come natural to me. I listened to him and asked questions and had a genuine and sincere interest in what had been going on in his life for the past several years. When we were done catching up about an hour later, I would have to say he dominated the conversation with about eighty percent of the words. And I must say, I was much more satisfied with learning about him than I would have been telling my story. I mean, I already know MY story. I gained much by listening to his.

I guess my question today is, When is the last time you listened sincerely to someone else’s story? I mean really listened and cared and took a genuine interest in his or her life? You will be surprised all you can learn from others. Whether they are younger, older, smarter, whatever. I would challenge each of us to hold our tongue next time we are in conversation. Try it… it’s harder than you think. We are usually just waiting for our turn to talk. But true leaders take a real interest in others and want to know their stories, for no reason more than simply knowing who they are leading.

Slacking off...

The sign of a good leader is one who chooses not to slack off when others are not watching. When I am around my staff and they do their best, I expect it. However, it is when no one is around that leaders do the hard work. For example, one of the best leaders that came up through our program was a young dude who worked tirelessly to get stuff done. When everyone was gone and the church was locked up, he always found a way to get in and do some more work. Now, this guy had special gifts and talents that others did not, but he never took for granted that ministry came pretty easy to him. He was getting program stuff ready or preparing a message. Sometimes he was just in there praying or cleaning, or helping someone else do stuff that they would not be able to hack because they were out of time. This guy was never out of time. Sure he was busy, but he never used that as an excuse. He overcame the obstacle and worked hard always.

John Wooden says that we should not compare ourselves to anyone else when it comes to our ability. This guy was the epitome of that. He was really good at some stuff and not so good at others. I am the same way. There are about three parts of ministry and team stuff that I am really good at. The rest of it can be done better by someone else. And that is the challenge with leadership. You have to constantly be on the look-out for those who will fit well within your team. When you can find others that are better than you – and lead them – you will be well on your way to successful mentorship, ministry, and leadership in whatever area you are in.