Building trust on a team of any kind is pretty difficult. For starters, we all come from different walks of life and have had different upbringings. We are unique individuals that must come together if we want to achieve greatness. I remember playing a water polo game when I was a sophomore in high school. I was a pretty young guy on the varsity team and so I was just doing my best to stay above water, both figuratively and literally.
There was one game that had some big implications in terms of the way our season was going to turn out. For much of the game we played well together, and caught a sort of rhythm. But then towards the end of the third quarter, things started to unravel. Minutes into the fourth quarter we realized that we were down a couple of goals and started to panic, but then miraculously fought our way back to tie the game.
With less than a minute left it was our ball and all we needed to do was get it down the pool and wait for a last second shot. That would give us either a win, or at the very least send the game into overtime. With seven seconds left we got the ball to our ace scorer, who was supposed to hold the ball and take a shot with two seconds left. He had plenty of room to do so. But for some reason, she decided to take the shot early. And, the worst part is that it went right to the goalie’s chest. You can probably guess what happened next.
The goalie reared back and heaved the ball in the air. As we all turned our heads we could immediately tell that our goalie was not ready for the shot, but instead had been moving steadily out of the goal. He halted his tracks, immediately started back-stroking just in time to get to the goal line to watch the ball cross the goal line. It was so quiet in the stadium that all you could hear was the pop of the ball against the blue tarp, which followed by an eruption of elation and celebration from the other team. It was devastating.
As we slowly left the pool and met in the locker room, you can imagine the frustration that all of us had. We are already starting to point fingers and dish out the blame. It was this guy’s fault for one reason or somebody else’s fault for another. Why did the play move up the court so fast? Why were the passes so sloppy? Why was this guy out of position? We were literally screaming at each other. Our goalie, dejected, just sat on the bench with his head in his hands, still dripping with water.
And then something happened. Our ace scorer, the guy who took the last shot said something in a low voice, but for some reason we all heard it. “I should have held the ball longer. It’s my fault. Guys, I’m sorry… it was me who lost the game, none of you.” Silence. Our bickering now stopped for us to focus on the only person taking responsibility; he was the leader. And at that moment, he solidified his place on the team as exactly that. Never did he point a finger or blame somebody else. He took responsibility at that moment.
There was a guy in the Bible who dealt with making bad decisions and not taking responsibility for his actions. When Samson was born there was an angel of the Lord that was present and helped his family to the process (Judges 13:13). As he grew up he had a crazy amount of supernatural strength that was given to him by God. He was given everything that he needed to lead God’s people effectively (13:24-25).
Yes, Samson was favored by God, but throughout his life made a series of unfortunate mistakes that he refused to correct. He got mixed up with the wrong people, was in relationship with a woman who would soon, on multiple occasions, betray him (14:3), and killed people to cover his own mistakes (14:19). All the while, he did not learn from his failures. He ended up dying a pretty violent death, after he had lost his eyes in one of the run-ins with the Philistines (16:29). He always seemed to put himself in some pretty bad situations, and as I continue to read a story over the years, I wonder how different it would have been if he learned through those failures.
Every player, including me, on our team was like Samson with our dumb excuses… except for the one guy who decided to be different, and take responsibility. Coach John wooden once said, “Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts.” So I guess my question is: Are you willing to have the courage to learn through your failures? It is not a question of if, but when, you will fail. The important part is that you learn through those failures and that you make better decisions because of that. When you take responsibility for your failures, people will look to you to help them through their failures as well. My prayer is that you look back to some of the failures in your life and remember how you responded; and, that you apply those lessons to your life right now.
Praying for you,
MO
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